Death becomes her
I have a new rash on both of my arms. I know, so unfeminine for me to mention, but I’m convinced I’m dying and might as well go down fighting. My friend Chris says I’m ridiculous and that they’re just a little red. I beg to differ. My arm feels like burning, which means…dun dun dun… imminent death.
I envision it slowly fading to a deep shade of black and green. Think, avocado. And from there, a sickly yellow. Then will come the numbness…and inevitably, the fall off. Like a bad game of “shopping spree” with Ken and Barbie, where they get in a fight over who gets the pink plastic shoes. Fighting ensues. A whacking of shiny, silky y y y hair.
Flop.
There went Barbie’s arm, right out of the socket. Just popped out, of course making the crackling noise that makes my skin crawl.
Yes, that’s the fate of my arm(s).
See, they’re tingling more even as I type this. They know that I know something terrible is about to happen.
Goodbye for now. I limb you.
Slather it with calamine lotion or take benedryl or get soothing lotion (a specific one that says something about itching – it’s called calming Cream and may be an Aveno product??) Did you rub up against something? If it moves from your arm, I would see someone. I love you and as a mom want to make it all better.
P.S. poison ivey?
kristin
July 14, 2009 at 3:12 pm
i think you might be dying. and you need a Pediatrician. So stay home July 23rd!
For real though, watch that right arm. And for fevers.
6YearMed
July 14, 2009 at 6:05 pm
a) i was seeing spots last week and was positively convinced i was going blind.
b) your “goodbye for now. i love you”’s are always my favorite part… hilarious!
courtneyhofmann
July 14, 2009 at 6:37 pm
I’m so glad that you’re writing again…I missed your witty thoughts during my day.
Ps I was at a photo shoot yesterday and the guy goes, um you’re laying in poison oak. I might be looking like you here pretty soon!
Brittany Dawson
July 14, 2009 at 8:10 pm
You’ve got the crud.
Miss VA
July 16, 2009 at 6:13 am
And some major 11’s. Unwrinkle or it will freeze like that.
Miss VA
July 16, 2009 at 6:14 am
I’m sure you’re not dying. It’s summertime. You’ve probably been out a lot and got around poison ivy or some other nasty plant. Do what your mom says and go see a doctor if it gets worse. I predict you are going to be fine. Love, Melissa
M A Rollins
July 16, 2009 at 9:55 am
i really hope your arms don’t pop off! hahaha.
stephanie
July 16, 2009 at 10:16 am
@ Miss VA: What are major 11’s? Wrinkles?
I KNOW! I’ve noticed them but also kind of like people’s wrinkles. Its like all the stories from the years are tucked in their skin. Unattractive? I’m not so sure.
@ Melissa: Not dying. Whew!
@ Brittany: You dying yet? We can be dying together. It’ll cut down on funeral costs for our families. I’m sure they can fit two in a coffin.
Mackenzie Rollins
July 16, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Got to ask, is the rash better? Hope so.
M A Rollins
July 17, 2009 at 12:04 pm
May you rest in peace.
Death Bringer
October 30, 2009 at 2:49 pm