Mackenzie Rollins | Weblog

.who newt?.

with 6 comments

m: i’d like to preface this story with an apology for the skittish spacing in this post. the formatter is not working correctly and it makes me want to delete this aesthetically unpleasing post altogether. i will refrain from doing so, as i realize this is not a rational thought. shocker.

and go…

while visiting the pacific northwest, i stayed for a few days with my friend mary in portland.

mary = one of my best friends.

we didn’t like each other when we first met. i didn’t think we’d ever be friends. six years later proves otherwise. have you ever had friendships like that? i seem to have quite a few. i have a poor judge of character, i suppose. or i’m just a jerk and carry tension with me when meeting someone new.

i hope its not the latter problem. i bet it is.

so. mary and i explored this nature trail. it felt like a swampy rain-forest. we felt like swampy animals as we trotted through.

we watched quite a few brave souls run past. mud flung all over their legs and lower cheeks. it often generously leapt on us as well. a man with legs the size of oregonian tree trunks ran past, covered in mud. he looked like swamp man, whoever that may be. slimy. sweaty. unnerving. we didn’t know whether to whimper or point and laugh as he walked by. we did neither for fear that he could spray mutant goo at us, if he so desired.

if i could shoot mutant goo, i sure would.

i think we actually turned into mutants for a while.
proof?
martians.jpg
this day with mary was one of my favorite days in a long time. we examined different ferns. variations of tree bark (one of my favorite things ever. fascinating. have you ever stopped to see how unusual each tree is? i n c r e d i b l e) we stopped numerous times as sun trickled through the towering trees and warmed our faces.
we talked of old times. talked of how this past year has been in each of our lives. of change. of growth. of fear. she’s married. i am not. our years have been completely different, yet my love for her is similar and even stronger than a year ago. i sometimes feel like my head will explode with how much i love my closest girlfriends. not because i am so wonderful and loving, but because the love feels so real. so deep. so true. its overwhelming.
if you hear a pop in texas, it’s probably my head exploding. i’m a donor. you can have what you’d like.
as we were walking, we came upon a lizard-ish creature. mary wanted to zoom in on it. she tried. she failed. i decided to go befriend the little guy to get him closer for her viewing pleasure. i didn’t think it’d be possible to actually catch him. lizards are little cold-blooded racehorses. a roommate of mine in college was petrified of them, so we were called in as terminators when she screamed at the discovery of one. they were always those odd transparent lizards who’s tails fall off when you try to grab them.
gross.

this lizard wasn’t transparent. nor was it gross. it was actually really cute, with a terra-cotta tinted tummy and chocolate-brown body.

he was also the slowest moving lizard ever. we thought he was sick and dying, but totally took advantage of his ailments and played with him. took pictures. passed him back and forth.

we set him back on the tree and said our goodbyes.
walked on.
discovered a sign that read:
warning: you will find many newts in this part of the trail.
whatever you do, DO NOT pick them up.
they exude a strong poison that will penetrate through your skin.
thanks!
thanks? thanks was not what we were thinking when we saw the sign. she and i laughed really hard at the fact that our lizard friend was not only not a lizard, but was also deadly. meanie. he was cute, but now that i think of it, his banana colored eyes did have a hint of hatred in them as he stared at us. meanie.

without saying anything more, we increased our pace and scurried back to the information center. i’ve always been the girl to wonder who actually goes inside those things. lame. but not today. i have a new respect for the khaki-wearing crocodile-hunteresque-trail informants.

we told the man of our playing with mr. death. he hurriedly got up. disappeared for ten minutes. we just knew men in black suits and gas masks were going to jog out at any moment. but alas, mr. khaki came back alone.

you’ll be fine. you’ll just have a rash anywhere he touched you and it’ll be quite irritated.

our hands felt like they were on fire for the rest of the afternoon. we checked often to make sure they weren’t swollen, blue, or falling off.

today’s lesson. don’t play with newts. who’d have known?

here is mr. death. these signs should have been hanging around him.

newt.jpg
goodbye for now. i love you. i don’t love newt poison.
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Written by Mackenzie Rollins

January 14, 2008 at 10:38 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

6 Responses

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  1. Hey MacKenzie. We are trying to track you down. Your flash awaits you in Texas.

    Trudy Chun

    January 15, 2008 at 6:59 am

  2. when I was a kid they told me not to touch anything that I am not sure what it is…
    should they maybe add that to the American Education?
    🙂

    Lazo von cinical

    Lazo Von Vukovaren

    January 15, 2008 at 7:10 am

  3. That’s funny Mackenzie (I’m assuming that you left your flash in Hungary) b/c you left your tripod in Bosnia…and it too should be awaiting you in Texas.

    Let’s see what else you can leave in another country…

    divinegrace

    January 15, 2008 at 1:41 pm

  4. I know someone else who doesn’t like people when they first meet them. haha. Who could that be?!

    Amy Pennell

    January 15, 2008 at 6:26 pm

  5. janet, as i’ve stated before, i’m heroically disorganized. i think it’s getting worse. leaving stuff across continents has to qualify me for some award in the category of least organized.

    terrible. i need your skills.

    @ amy: i can’t imagine.

    @ lazo: i’m sure many things will be left in many places. it’s great incentive to travel light. very very light.

    goodmorningsarajevo

    January 15, 2008 at 10:54 pm

  6. Hee, hee, hee, I bet the roomate you mentioned that freaked out over what I called them “Little Lizards!!!!” was me huh? I don’t think i was scared of the lizards, I don’t think they mean harm, well obviously newts fo, but I would say that I was completely disgusted by them and didn’t want them crawling on me. I am weary of the little geko lizards because they move fast, hang out by your door, blend in with the carpet, and have little mouths and see through bodies. anyways there is my explanation. by the way, I just figured out that I can post comments without having my own blog. I will post more, you can count on that.

    Brianna Bayles

    January 16, 2008 at 8:08 pm


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